Who was your father? What kind of man and father was he?
Was he loving, present, encouraging and able to express emotion? Or was he hard, harsh, stoic and a live wire – at best, unpredictable?
Maybe he was not even there at all?
How has this shaped your life?
The memories I have of my father are brought back by those subtle moments that repeat and echo in most of who I am today and what I do: Listening to that small snotty, runny nose boy as intently as I do the business executive. Tucking in and praying over my girls every night am home. Going through the house, closing the windows, drawing the drapes and turning off the lights, heaters and gas. A predictable night routine.
My father was a man’s man; tough as nails. He was lean, extremely intelligent and very perceptive. I can still see him work the wrenches fixing broken pipes; no, anything that needed fixing. That’s where the road divides for me and him. In place of a wrench, I have a phone number!
I saw my dad choose to take the high road; allowing to be cheated rather than cheat. He was a passionate man who told his kids every chance he got how much he loved them. He made breakfast for the family well into his 70’s. And that in a generation of men who would never be caught being yellow-belly “sissy’s.” He was the quintessential gentleman.
My dad was far from perfect, but am thankful that I had him to lead me on the path to true manhood. And fatherhood. That’s an uncommon privilege in our day. Many men I know are only starting out as the pioneers in their family lineages.
Show me a broken home. Show me a broken society. Show me a broken country. And I will show you a broken, unfathered man. As the man, so goes the world.
Will you commit to encourage that man in your house to be all that he has been called to be?
And to you brother, will you step up to the plate and be counted in your generation? You see, any man can father a child by one simple, no-brainer act. But it takes real guts, commitment (for the long haul) and a keen sense of brokenness (and dependence) on God to be a Father in the real sense of the word.
And It’s dust-and-ashes humbling business to think that on mortals such as us is bestowed the same title as the boundless Creator of all matter, energy, time and space – Father God. Yes, the God who made the sun so big that you could put 960,000 earths inside it. Mmm. And yet the sun is just but one of hundreds of billions of stars in the Milky Way galaxy, earth’s home. And not just that: there are at least one hundred billion galaxies in the observable universe. What honor! Very humbling.
October 29, 2019 at 8:16 pm
He was on his own planet… too lost but when he would once in a moon appear was warmly
October 29, 2019 at 8:16 pm
Jacob Zikusooka Yeah
October 29, 2019 at 8:17 pm
Was kidnapped, never to be seen again before I was born. He left us (twins) in our mother’s womb, so I don’t know him. The hearsay of who he was doesn’t count to me, for I would have loved to know him and have my own opinion of who he was. There isn’t even a grave for me to go and clean.
October 29, 2019 at 8:17 pm
Thank you
October 29, 2019 at 8:17 pm
Jacob…I will look up the Jacobs in the Bible to benchmark….wonderful piece.
October 29, 2019 at 8:18 pm
Powerful words!!
October 29, 2019 at 8:18 pm
What a write up Sir
October 29, 2019 at 8:18 pm
Hmmm. Father. Strange a word
October 29, 2019 at 8:19 pm
Very insightful and challenging.
May God help us all!
October 29, 2019 at 8:19 pm
My God!
This actually made me emotional.
Mwanyinazze… uhmmm. What can I say.
You’ve given me all I needed to share with the gentlemen I’ll be sharing with tomorrow.
So deep, so profound.
Webale nnyo mwattu
October 29, 2019 at 8:19 pm
Jacob Zikusooka
It was the very least I could do… moreover me.
Also a truly amazing experience it was for me. I learnt so much, was deeply inspired, moved and forever changed.
October 29, 2019 at 8:20 pm
Jacob Zikusooka
But why would you even say thank you… dah?!?!?
October 29, 2019 at 8:20 pm
Jacob Zikusooka I have climbed mountains but I keep it a secret
October 29, 2019 at 8:21 pm
In fact when I saw those deaths on Everest, I was thinking, but for the Grace of God, there go I!
October 29, 2019 at 8:21 pm
Mike Chibita ??????????
October 29, 2019 at 8:21 pm
Jacob Zikusooka
Mwanyinazze!
Be weary of friends who claim to do things in secret
October 29, 2019 at 8:22 pm
This is such a powerful message. Thanks Jacob
October 29, 2019 at 8:22 pm
He was loving though he had his weaknesses like any other human.I miss him a lot thanks for this.
October 29, 2019 at 8:23 pm
Nice one brother and happy father’s day in advance
October 29, 2019 at 8:24 pm
Wonderful piece, Jacob… in lieu of #FATHERSDAY this weekend…
I’m grateful to God for an ever present, ever providing, ever giving, ever teaching / correcting (albeit with a cane), etc… Dad…
We never lacked because he took his responsibility as a Dad and Hubby quite seriously… Eg he visited all of us during ALL our VDs (even me who studied in the furthest end of the world)…
He was also quite handy around the house (for a statistician) … and I picked up that habit from him… The phone is handy when it’s the technical stuff…
There’s so much to say about Good Dads… But all in all, thank God for Fathers who are also Daddies…
As we all know… Fathers give birth to children BUT DADDIES… they not only give birth to children… They raise them and are good role models to them…
We need more of these men today… ??
October 29, 2019 at 8:24 pm
#Amen to that…
So let it be written… And so let it be done…
October 29, 2019 at 8:25 pm
Mine was murdered when I was an infant I never got to know him. I do not even have the most faint memory of him. This caused a very big void in my life, wishing and wanting my children to have one, Alas. Never meant to be am raising my three children single handedly.
October 29, 2019 at 8:25 pm
Jacob Zikusooka Amen Amen and Amen.
October 29, 2019 at 8:25 pm
What a Profound Message. I am lost in reflection. Many fathers may still be present physically, but they are not committed to doing the job of fathering. Thank you Jacob.
October 29, 2019 at 8:26 pm
Choices. Father’s can make the choice to watch the match or read a book to the child.
October 29, 2019 at 8:26 pm
Jacob Zikusooka I didn’t have the best Dad but his short comings have contributed to the many successes I have today. It’s like I got into compensation mode: I’ve worked hard for my financial independence and I have also created a brand to encourage fathers to be Daddies. I’m praying my daughter gets the blessing of one.
October 29, 2019 at 8:26 pm
U forgot to mention his love of riding a bicycle to work and leaving a merc parked in the garage ??may his soul rest in eternal peace
October 29, 2019 at 8:27 pm
“Some people come into our lives and quickly go, others leave footprints in our hearts and we are never, ever the same”. (Author Unknown).
That is the message on my Dad’s tombstone.
He was the loudest cheerleader in my life.
October 29, 2019 at 8:27 pm
Oh thank you Jacob, such kind words ????
October 29, 2019 at 8:27 pm
Wow! Hearts off for you Sir. You just described my Father in most of the aspects you highlight. Present, prayerful especially over his children, hands on, a provider, thoughtful after his children (even to this day in our adulthood), faithful, a true gentleman to his daughters, a role model to us on what to expect of a husband, a clear head with a clear sense of justice. A Dad! A listener..even when we are totally off point and yet he has maintained his authority as a parent and head of our home. And yes like us all he is not flawless but he is committed to being the best father he could be. God bless all Dads, who get it and have humbled themselves to love their children. May the eyes and hearts of those who have reneged on their roles be opened. May they learn from the best Father of all. The Lord God Almighty.
October 29, 2019 at 8:28 pm
Haa Dont start me on my Daddy… mpozi where is that book I have been banjaring you on?
October 29, 2019 at 8:28 pm
Nice piece
October 29, 2019 at 8:29 pm
Great piece Jacob! Thank you for always inspiring us and showing us the right way. My love to the gals.
October 29, 2019 at 8:29 pm
Aka article kankubye!
October 29, 2019 at 8:32 pm
Two worlds apart – when he made the appearance, and when he wasn’t around. Right, Alex?
October 29, 2019 at 8:32 pm
Mary, I can imagine the pain. And questions. There’s comfort in the scriptures: A father to the fatherless is God, in his holy dwelling…
October 29, 2019 at 8:33 pm
Nana, my sister, sad indeed that in our generation that’s a strange word?
October 29, 2019 at 8:33 pm
Mwanyinazze Mirembe, thank you for burying my earthly father in my absence; it just occurred to me I’ve never said thank you❤️?
October 29, 2019 at 8:33 pm
Joy, unlike the talkative Mike Chibita, I know you will climb a mountain or two for me. For that my gratitude will ever flow☺️
October 29, 2019 at 8:33 pm
Mike, you are not enough. You are too much????♂️
October 29, 2019 at 8:34 pm
So good to hear from you Rachel, been eons☺️
October 29, 2019 at 8:34 pm
Maama Christine, that you speak well of him is praiseworthy! And thank you for standing by that titan of a father in your home☺️
October 29, 2019 at 8:34 pm
Mark, my brother! You are an exceptional father. I celebrate you. Happy Fathers’ day in advance!
October 29, 2019 at 8:35 pm
Rai Henriette that’s a powerful ode to a good father! You are blessed. May we be those men??
October 29, 2019 at 8:35 pm
Desire, your children will be used greatly of God. And your faithfulness is a seed that will germinate and produce a bountiful harvest for them. From my lips to God’s ears??
October 29, 2019 at 8:36 pm
Zoe, may God turn the hearts of fathers towards their children. And may God give us the grace to acknowledge and learn from our many shortcomings. That’s my prayer this week??
October 29, 2019 at 8:36 pm
Indeed, Belinda. It’s all choices!
October 29, 2019 at 8:36 pm
Belinda, just goes to show the truth of one of the most dumbfounding promises in the book: The God who takes the stones life throws in our direction and uses them to build a firm foundation under our feet!
October 29, 2019 at 8:37 pm
Said Kasim ha ha ha! Old man Zik was somethin’????♂️
October 29, 2019 at 8:37 pm
Ruth, your dad was a leading light?